For a large portion of my life, I unknowingly wanted to remove the three most essential people from it. I wanted to remove God by taking credit for all that was good in my life, I wanted to remove Jesus Christ by punishing myself for my sins, and I wanted to remove the Holy Ghost by keeping the “control” over my life to live it as I wanted to. Without the Godhead, we cannot have a testimony that endures. We will get entrapped and ensnared by the devil in some way or another. We will focus on the peripheral aspects of the gospel, the practices of the church as an institution, and all the questions that cannot be answered. We will be unable to turn our hearts to God because there will be no room left. When I think about testimony now, it is built upon and only sustained when the Godhead is at the center of my life. I must seek to know God, to live his ways, and to see and give thanks for his hand in my life. I must “[rely] wholly upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save (2 Nephi 31:19).” His Atonement and his love for me and others must be what I turn to in every moment. And I must desire the Spirit to guide my heart, mind, and hands. I must desire to live with them and for them. This is the testimony I want to live. This is the testimony I am striving to have. And this is the testimony I hope to share. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Laura
Provo, Utah